Elephant Empire
"Remember the Dibigong"
by Peter Stevens
October 2014
click here if you prefer the PDF version
SCENE LIST:
Cottage Weekend '99 1/2
Cops 1/3
Remember the Dibigong 1/3
Cops 2/3
Revive
Grown up Happy Birthday
Sky is the Limit
Remember the Dibigong 2/3
Shoot First
Honking works
Cops 3/3
Cottage Weekend '99 2/2
Remember the Dibigong 3/3
##Cottage Weekend '99
Move in to one driveway. DAVE, smiling, waits with cooler and bag.
Car pulls up. Door opens.
FRIENDS IN CAR
DAAAAAVE!
The friends load DAVE's stuff into the car.
Nonstop-excited chatter. The audience can only register their enthusiastic, shouting faces:
Maybe, if you're lucky, you can make out a few words. Simultaneous:
DAVE
(overlapping)
Let's do this! Big BBQ weekend! I brought steaks, I brought ribs, I brought wings, I brought chicken breasts, you like bacon? We got bacon, this cooler is basically a Noah's Ark of the Dead...
PETER
(overlapping)
This is going to be weekend of legend. We have every board game known to man. Risk, Monopoly, that game with the trap the mouse although we are missing some pieces, we got dice, we can play Yahtzee until 5am!...
MATT
(overlapping)
TGIF, am I right boys? What's better than being with your best buds for a sweet weekend. Office life is for chumps we were meant to run and drink and laugh. Not fax, who faxes? Why am I still sending faxes in this day and age, there are no fax machines in nature unless that's what the leaves in fall are. Thousands of tree faxes to nowhere...
HANNAH
(overlapping)
These are perfect cottage conditions. I need to get in that water. I'm talking swimming above, swimming below, swimming just arms switch it up just legs. Tubing, jet-skiing, holding our breath competitions, I LOVE treading water, front crawl, backstroke, get out the flutter boards old school coasting...
During this explosion, the drive to the cottage begins.
ALL TOGETHER
Cottage weekend ‘99!
More excited simultaneous shouting.
It dies down. Silence.
MATT
Stop the car.
SCREECH brakes. Friends confused. MATT steps out.
PETER
What’s up?
MATT
I don’t want to do this if we’re not excited.
PETER
What? We definitely-
MATT
I'm talking 100%. All weekend. No pauses.
DAVE
Maximum excitement...
PETER
Even when we're sleeping? Maybe I can do 50 or 60 percent when I'm asleep.
HANNAH
That's an average of 83%.
DAVE
83% is a good weekend.
MATT
I don’t want to live 83% of my life.
DAVE
He's right.
PETER
100% excitement the whole weekend...
HANNAH
Let's do it.
MATT gets back in the car. All prepare to continue shouting-
PETER
Wait. What is this going to do us?
MATT
What's it going do to us if we don't do it?
Solemn nods from all.
All take a breath and restart the excited shouting.
This time the look on their faces is fear.
Freeze frame. Eerie music STING.
Transition: The car drives past a man being beaten in the street.
##Cops 1
Riot Cops beating a suspect.
COP DAVE stops and thinks. Stops COP PETER to talk.
COP DAVE
Do you think we're violent people and that's why we were drawn to the police force? Or. Is there something about the uniform and the power that makes one violent?
COP PETER
(interested)
Huh.
They resume beating suspect.
Transition: fade to black. The image of the police beating a man freezes and becomes a constellation of stars.
Pan down from the stars.
##Dibigong 1
Four friends in a small boat.
They are lit by their flashlights and the glow of a fish finder and a few pieces of video and audio equipment.
SUPER: Somewhere on Georgian Bay. 3am.
CONNELL
I'm going on the record. They're all made up. The Dibigong. Loch Ness. Bigfoot. Ogopog.
JERZY
Ogopogo.
HAILEY
Do you know the name of the snake that eats itself?
JERZY
Oroboros? That’s more of a symbol than a cryptid.
MANNY
So what's a two-headed bird?
JERZY
Like a Byzantine crest or a Gandaberunda?
CONNELL
Ugh. Also, for the record, wizard here is the only of us who went into the sciences.
JERZY
Technically, this is pseudoscientific because the Dibigong lacks falsifiability. Karl Popper argued that science-
CONNELL
(overlapping groan)
Boring.
MANNY
(overlapping)
Okay, professor.
HAILEY
(overlapping)
I study literature.
JERZY
I forgot you're all arts students.
HAILEY
Hey ,"for the record", do you believe there's any creature that hasn't been discovered?
CONNELL
Maybe in the deepest part of the ocean.
JERZY
Technically, we're connected to the Atlantic the ocean.
CONNELL
Wow.
MANNY
It's healthy to keep some wonder about the universe.
HAILEY
All I'm saying is you're on the boat too.
CONNELL
This was all JERZY's idea.
MANNY
It's fun. It's great we're all back for the summer.
HAILEY
I agree. If you lived near Loch Ness wouldn't you put in one night, in a boat, looking for Nessie?
CONNELL
It's amazing to me that a sailor in 1800 would be on the bay, see a rock in the fog and say, "blimey, it's a monstey", and a couple of hundred years later we -Dibigong! The Dibigong!
All look.
CONNELL
(laughing)
Guys. It's made up. That's so sad you all looked.
MANNY splashes CONNELL.
MANNY
No false alarms.
JERZY
It wasn't a sailor it was a dentist on his yacht and the year was 1923.
HAILEY
Memory like a steel trap.
CONNELL
What was the full name of our teacher in elementary school?
JERZY
Don Temple. Grade 5.
HAILEY
Speed!
CONNELL
Hold on. What did Mr. Temple dress up for on Halloween?
JERZY
David Suzuki.
MANNY AND HAILEY
Whoa!
CONNELL
Every teacher was Suzuki at some point. Just because he acts certain doesn't mean he's got a good memory.
MANNY
Mr. Temple was a cool teacher.
JERZY
No he wasn't.
HAILEY
Oh, the science report!
MANNY
What?
CONNELL
You don't remember? Mr. Temple had all these tubes and boiled water for-
MANNY
I don't think I was there that day.
JERZY
You were.
HAILEY
Remember? We had to do a group report?
MANNY
(remembers)
Did we fight about it?
CONNELL
Oh we fought! Because Mr. Temple set up all his science stuff and it didn't work at all.
HAILEY
So he just told the class what was supposed to happen.
JERZY
So corrupt.
CONNELL
But then on our group science report said “write down what you saw.”
HAILEY
And JERZY insisted on describing how the experiment failed.
JERZY
Because that's what happened.
CONNELL
We knew what we were supposed to write.
MANNY
I don't think I remember this. Was Mr. Temple the one who threw chalk?
CONNELL
Did he?
JERZY
That was Mr. Polomo. He threw chalk at the kid who broke the chair during an indoor recess-
The large, scaly back of the Dibigong rises out of the lake, brushing the boat.
The friends stand. Rising shout. HAILEY, closest to the beast, reaches out, touches it.
The boat is rocked, tipped over. HAILEY falls in the boat. The rest fall overboard. Flashlights dropped.
SPLASHING.
CONNELL
MANNY?
MANNY
I'm here. Where's JERZY?
JERZY
Here. We're all here.
HAILEY
Get in the boat!
MANNY
It's cold.
All climb into boat.
CONNELL
Where is it?
HAILEY
I don't see it.
JERZY
Holy moly.
All laugh at everything. Especially, "holy moly."
CONNELL
Did you see that?
HAILEY
See it? I touched it. I touched it with my hand.
JERZY
You touched the Dibigong?
HAILEY
It was warm.
Transition: Pan up to the stars. It's the constellation of cops from before. Pan left, searching.
We found it. A different image of a police beating. It comes to life.
##Cops 2
Riot Cops beat a suspect.
COP DAVE stops and thinks. Stops COP PETER to talk.
COP DAVE
Do you think people have a right to revolt against a corrupt state?
COP PETER thinks.
COP PETER
A right? An obligation.
They resume beating suspect.
Transition: close up on COP DAVE who keeps dropping out of frame to swing his baton.
His head pops back up into frame. Riot Cop costume gone. Now he's dripping wet.
##Revive
DAVE is trying to revive dead PETER. MATT stops helping. Classic movie moment best realized in The Abyss (1989).
MATT
He’s gone.
DAVE ignores him. Intensifies effort.
Music SWELLS.
MATT (CONT’D)
It’s over. DAVE, stop it.
MATT grabs DAVE.
MATT
Stop! He’s gone. You have to stop. There's nothing we-
Music STOPS.
DAVE
Why not let me do it? For five hours if I want? If he's dead who does it hurt?
MATT’s reaction.
DAVE resumes his efforts and PETER is immediately revived.
MATT's shock.
PETER
I’m alive!
DAVE
He wanted me to stop.
PETER
What? Why not let him do it? Who does it hurt?
Matt’s embarrassment.
TRANSITION: Matt puts a “Happy Birthday" party hat on. His embarrassment turns to disappointment.
##Grown up Happy Birthday
Group of friends. MATT, unimpressed, in the middle.
It's a cheesy birthday party with streamers and a "Happy 36th Birthday" banner.
FRIENDS
(singing)
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy-
MATT takes his little party hat off.
MATT
Really? I’m 36-years-old. Happy Birthday is a kid's song. Isn't there a grown up version?
HANNAH
You want the grown up Happy Birthday?
MATT
Yeah.
HANNAH
You're sure?
Lights out. Haunting SOUND. Furniture floats.
A small light approaches.
Small STRANGELING with candle, singing in high voice. Getting right up to MATT's face.
STRANGELING
Closer to death/
Closer to death/
Is this your last breath?/
Closer to-
MATT
(panic)
Can we do regular happy birthday?
Lights up.
HANNAH
Sure! (sings) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...
STRANGELING
No prob. Yeah (sings) Happy Birthday (getting strange again) tooo yooou...
MATT nervous.
Transition: The school bell RINGS. Matt walks out of frame. Person walks across frame hiding the cut to...
##Sky is the Limit
School bell RINGING as students leave for recess. SAD KID stays at desk, sobbing over sheet of paper.
TEACHER
Is this about the ‘B' on the science quiz?
SAD KID nods.
TEACHER
Work hard and the sky is the limit.
This hits hard. SAD KID sinks further into despair. TEACHER walks away.
TEACHING ASSISTANT
Why would you say that? You know how badly they want to be an astronaut.
TEACHER
(cruel)
With a ‘B' on a science quiz? No chance. Sky is the limit.
TRANSITION: Zoom in on the book the TEACHING ASSISTANT was holding. Multiple hands enter, fighting over the book.
##Dibigong 2
A bookseller's stall at the "International Cryptid's Convention".
JERZY, HAILEY, MANNY, and CONNELL are all fighting over a copy of a book.
Shouts. Pages are being pulled out. CONNELL and JERZY are the angriest. HAILEY and MANNY are caught in the middle.
HAILEY
(overlapping)
Let him buy it if he wants to buy it.
CONNELL
(overlapping)
Don't touch this piece of lying garbage.
MANNY
(overlapping)
I'm allowed to buy it.
JERZY
(overlapping)
Get your hands off my book!
Freeze in mid-battle. Explore the intense faces in the tableau.
MANNY (V.O.)
This is not going according to plan. It's been years since Georgian Bay. Two of us realized we made a mistake. There's no evidence. There's no Dibigong. But JERZY believed. And he wrote a book. This book.
Unfreeze. The struggle finishes with the book torn up. The group splits like fighters going to their corners.
HAILEY calms JERZY.
MANNY calms CONNELL.
MANNY
You're making a scene.
CONNELL
I don't care. Look at this place. Cryptids Convention for Truth Seekers and other lonely nutjobs.
HAILEY
Be calm.
JERZY
They can't come here and try to embarrass us like Anna Marie Tremonti.
HAILEY
She was fair.
CONNELL
Look. They let every crazy on the street in here.
CONNELL swipes a hand drawn pamphlet from the table of a dishevelled man.
CONNELL
"The Chupacabra is Real"?
MANNY
We're not here for this. We're here for HAILEY.
JERZY
You're right. "Truth fights for itself."
HAILEY
If we bury the truth with anger then no one is going to hear it.
JERZY
I'm calm.
HAILEY
Not even our friends.
CONNELL
I am here for HAILEY. You're the one who wanted to buy his book.
MANNY
I'm trying to build a bridge. They're our friends.
CONNELL AND JERZY
He's not my friend. Friends don't lie.
CONNELL and JERZY head-to-head.
CONNELL AND JERZY
You know what happened that night!
CONNELL
(overlapping)
We didn't see anything.
JERZY
(overlapping)
We saw the Dibigong.
CONNELL
You had no right to write this book.
JERZY
I understand you're upset. We all went through a lot in those first six months.
Freeze.
CONNELL (V.O.)
Oh, he understands? Well it was my face that blew up in that meme.
Unflattering memes of CONNELL with captions "Me saw it!" “Trust Dibigong is real." and "Me not so sure."
CONNELL (V.O.)
People still snicker when I walk by.
Unfreeze.
JERZY
We were all ridiculed. It doesn't change the truth.
CONNELL
Don't drag other people into your “truth".
MANNY
Okay. We're leaving. We're only here because HAILEY's parents asked us to come. Are you seriously dropping out of university?
JERZY
The book tour is six months then we're both going back-
CONNELL
No one's talking to you. You're already going to end up a crazy street person.
MANNY
Your parents are worried. Call them.
CONNELL
You want your whole life to be about whether or not you saw the Dibigong? 'Cause that's not what my life's about.
MANNY takes HAILEY aside for a moment.
MANNY
I don't know if it's healthy for you to be surrounded by this. I recommend therapy. Talk to someone away from the noise. It helped me.
Freeze.
HAILEY
I know mass hallucinations exist. I’ve read it all. Marpingen 1876. Portugal 2006. They closed schools because so many students thought they were sick from a virus they saw on TV. The Dibigong is different. I don’t know why I reached out but I touched it with my hand.
CONNELL had been reading a ripped page of JERZY's book.
CONNELL
What is this? "There was a breeze across Lake Ontario. MANNY sat at the bow in his U of T sweater" -no one was wearing sweaters. It was summer.
JERZY
MANNY was wearing a U of T sweater. You were wearing a striped shirt and jeans. And I was-
CONNELL
Maybe but MANNY wasn't wearing a sweater -tell him, MANNY.
MANNY
This is ridiculous.
JERZY
Yes he was.
CONNELL
Just because you act certain doesn't make it true.
CONNELL and MANNY leave.
HAILEY
They're going to believe what they want to believe.
Freeze.
JERZY (V.O.)
I get it. Most people don’t care about truth. It doesn’t keep you warm at night. Can’t eat it. The truth doesn’t love you. People care about living a good life and if truth threatens them they will beat it down and you with it. And I’m talking about my friends. My family. If you’re fighting for the truth you can’t leave any room for doubt.
Unfreeze.
JERZY
Are you having second thoughts about this book tour?
HAILEY
Why?
JERZY
Half of the people in the book have gone on record denying it.
HAILEY
They're tired.
JERZY
How are you?
HAILEY
I'm tired. But I touched it.
JERZY
It was warm.
TRANSITION: Zoom to door in background.
##Shoot First
Slow push on door. Two undercover cops burst into the warehouse.
ROOKIE
Freeze, police-
TOUGH immediately fires shots into the room, killing four suspects.
ROOKIE
What have you done?
TOUGH
Listen, Rook. I shoot first and ask questions later. (to the dead suspects) Where's the girl?
Beat. Uh-oh.
TOUGH
Who do you work for?
TOUGH realizes his methods are garbage.
TRANSITION: Close up of DAVE. He puts glasses on. He's sitting in a car.
##Honking works
Classic Wasaga Beach traffic jam. One lane road with a long line of cars moving two feet at a time.
Mild-mannered MURRY driving, on edge, like Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
A car HONKS.
MURRY
Okay. Yes. Lovely. Where do you want me to go?
A car HONKs.
MURRY
Move up? Another half inch? What are you thinking?
More cars HONKING.
MURRY
Oh yeah! Honk. Let's all honk. This is something. You want me to honk? Is that it?
Cacophony of cars HONKING. MURRY madly adding to the HONKS.
MURRY
(losing it)
Now we're all honking. Yes honk. Honk. Honk.
The traffic jam completely clears. Cars moving briskly.
MURRY
Oh, that works. Thank you! That really works!
TRANSITION: Car drives by a police beating.
##Cops 3
Riot cops beating a suspect. COP DAVE thinks and stops COP PETER.
COP DAVE
What's more beautiful? The vast expanse of the universe or a baby's first smile.
COP PETER contemplates.
COP PETER
The baby.
The riot cops resume the beating.
TRANSITION: zoom into suburban home.
##Cottage Weekend ‘99 part 2
A married couple.
WIFE
We did it honey. I'm pregnant. Your gonna be a dad.
HUSBAND
(dead inside)
This is the happiest day of my life.
WIFE
I don't understand. I thought you'd finally be excited-
DAVE walks away.
HUSBAND
I tried to tell you when we married. I used up all of my excitement
SUPERIMPOSED memories of nonstop 100% excitement.
HUSBAND
in one “cottage weekend ‘99. We burned bright but I am forever the ashes.
TRANSITION: Outside the window. MATT is walking with a backpack. He's hitchhiking.
We join him.
Car on road in Northern Ontario.
JERZY hitchhiking.
Truck on the road.
##Dibigong 3
JERZY walks up and knocks on the door. Waits. Sits. Takes off backpack and sleeping bag.
HAILEY opens the door.
HAILEY
How did you find me?
JERZY
Good to see you too. Long time.
Nothing from HAILEY.
JERZY
People would post rumours on the forums. They knew I was looking for you. Then someone took a photo of you at the Safeways on Court.
JERZY shows HAILEY the photo. HAILEY sighs.
JERZY
Blurry. I wasn't going to follow up. Couple of years ago, I chased a photo of you that was taken in Edmonton.
HAILEY
I've never been to Edmonton.
JERZY
I figured that out. Ended up finding someone that looks like you. (pause) False sighting.
The joke doesn't take.
HAILEY
You can come in if you want to talk about other things.
JERZY
I don't talk about other things.
HAILEY
What do you want, JERZY?
JERZY
I want to hear you say what you wrote.
HAILEY closes the door.
JERZY takes out a piece of paper and reads, loudly:
JERZY
I have lived a mistake for six years. In this time, I traveled across North America and Europe researching and writing about the phenomenon of the Dibigong while promoting a book-
HAILEY returns.
HAILEY
Go away.
JERZY (continues to read)
- I am announcing that I am leaving this life-
HAILEY snatches the paper. Beat. JERZY continues from memory.
JERZY
because I no longer believe the reliability of my own claim. I did not see or touch the mythical creature known as The Dibigong-
HAILEY grabs JERZY by the arm and pulls him to HAILEY's car in the driveway.
HAILEY
Get in the car.
JERZY
of Georgian Bay. I regret the hardship and confusion this has caused to so many caring, thoughtful people-
Once they're inside. HAILEY crumples the paper and tosses it on the dash.
HAILEY
Don't bring that here. This is a different world. This is Thunder Bay. I like it that way. I'm living with someone and their kid and I don't want any of this-
JERZY
You said you touched something alive.
HAILEY
I'm not going back to that.
JERZY
I'm not asking you to come back. You're out. I get it. No more road trips. No more Cryptozoology Conferences. No more arguments about if those late night radio talkshows help our cause-
HAILEY
It's not my cause.
JERZY
I get it. You wrote this-
JERZY reaches for the crumpled paper.
HAILEY
Leave it.
JERZY
and you disappeared. I know you wrote this for everyone else. But not me. You never looked me in the eye and told me what you believe.
HAILEY
That’s it?
JERZY
That’s it. Did you touch the Dibigong or not?
HAILEY
Can I be honest, JERZY? You smell.
JERZY
I know.
HAILEY
It’s bad. Sour. When’s the last time you showered?
JERZY
I apologize.
HAILEY
Where are you living? What happened?
JERZY
It's true. I'm homeless and you have a home. You were right. The money ran out. I don’t have a family. I made my choices and you made yours-
HAILEY
That's not what this is-
JERZY
It doesn’t change what happened that night did you touch the Dibigong or not?
HAILEY
What do you want me to say?
JERZY
The truth.
HAILEY
The truth is I don't remember. JERZY... it was so long ago now. It was dark.
JERZY
I know it was dark. I was there. The four of us were there.
HAILEY
You're the only one still there.
JERZY
Did you touch the Dibigong or not? What did you touch? What was warm? Did you touch the Dibigong? You did. You did touch it. That’s why you never said it to my face.
HAILEY
No. It was nothing. I touched nothing. There was nothing there. Is that so hard to understand? I didn’t touch the Dibigong. There is no Dibigong. We were wrong. It's okay to be wrong.
JERZY
It didn't happen.
HAILEY
Let it go.
JERZY
I want to let it go. I don't have anything. But you touched it. You touched it with your hand. (he quotes the scene in the boat from memory) "Where is it? / Holy moly. / We laughed. / Did you see it? / I touched it with my hand." Don't take this away from me. I'm not crazy. Am I crazy? I'm crazy. It really didn't happen. What happened to me? What happened to my life? What have I been doing? I made a mistake.
HAILEY
JERZY...
JERZY
What did you touch?
HAILEY
Nothing.
JERZY
Then I'm crazy.
HAILEY tries to console JERZY.
JERZY
What did you touch?
HAILEY
Nothing. The side of the boat.
JERZY
The side of the boat.
HAILEY
The side of the boat. (pause) Come here.
They hug.
JERZY
Okay, the side of the boat. Okay. I'm tired.
A colourful, two-headed bird CAWS, lands on the hood of the car and settles.
The two watch the creature for a long time.
HAILEY
Great.